Growing up I loved watching and seeing couples in love. Spying from the corner of my eye as they exchanged smiles and laughter, held hands and gave each other kisses used to be one of my favorite activities. I wonder if they ever saw someone was watching them or if they were so engulfed in their love that nothing could get their attention. There is nothing like two people who truly love each other and only have beaming eyes for one another. I vowed to myself to build such a relationship when I grow up. It seemed so beautiful to have access to such an experience as an adult… so life giving! Oh how I wanted to speed the growing up process! To feel supported, loved and seen… so inspiring! Those couples had something that other people seemed to lack; they had a light about themselves and I was attracted to them as a bee to honey! They had wings to face the many challenges that life threw their way in ways other people did not.. Those people were ALIVE!
Full of excitement and with dreamy eyes I declared to my extended family one day “I will meet the love of my life, love each other and we will go through all life has to throw at us and we will be stronger than ever”. My enthusiasm was met with mixed messages: “Good luck finding someone good out there these days”, “Men are pigs”, “If only women stopped talking that much”, “Nothing good lasts more than 2 years”, “People just use one another, people love you while you are useful to them”. Way to speak to an 11 year old. They made it seem like my dream was completely trash and useless.
I did not give up though and I had a few great snapshots of some couples’ love buried deep in the depths of my memory, to which I clung so dearly. Now as an adult, I see with great sadness just how difficult it seems for people to get along, whether in friendships, marriage, at work or inter generationally, and all this despite having more tools, books, therapy and more free time than ever.
I am fascinated by how my grandparents and my husband’s grandparents got married, had kids, survived the era of two world wars and built themselves a community and a livelihood all by age 30. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not idealizing that era nor do I think humanity changed that much at the base, however I cannot help but notice the disastrous statistics about marriage and how 1 in 2 ends up in divorce together with the fast expiry date of so many of today’s relationships. I only wish those role models were around a little bit longer so I could tap into their wisdom and learn how they made it work, with their humble means and limited resources.
On that note, today kicks off the start of a new series: the Relationships Series; In the next couple of weeks let’s explore the following topics and discuss how we can make the best out of our relationships:
- Stress in marriage and how women and men handle stress differently
- The feminine and the masculine
- Keys to a successful relationship and marriage
- Individuality versus community
- Toxic relationships, time to let go
- Moral values and the pressures of society
- Have your priorities straight in a marriage
There you go! I hope you enjoy this series as you embark on this journey with me. Much love!
SimplyLadyEvergreen 